Chapter Sixteen

All types of emotions are running through me right now, but I’m going to save all the mushy shit for the end. Right now, I want to get into the chapter that didn’t make it into the book. And if I’m being honest, probably the scariest chapter of them all. Let’s chat about this fool I met named Tyrann…

Now I know our next meet up was supposed to be about “The Faux Nice Guy,” but we have more pressing issues to tackle at this time. Let’s just think of Chapter Sixteen as a delete from Caution: Dating in LA May Cause Excessive Drinking. In actuality, Tyrann was a perfect candidate for my first book. We just didn’t meet before my editor got ahold of my manuscript. So anyway. Y’all remember the cigar lounge down the street that I was addicted to? I met Tyrann over there. I’ve actually met quite a few cool ass guys at that cigar lounge. I’ve been begging my girlfriends to meet me there, but you know how it is trying to get that smell out of your weave. I typically go solo on the days I’m due for a wash and curl. But this particular day, one of my Atlanta girlfriends came with me. She recently moved out this way and I wanted to show her some of the low key spots in our vicinity. KD is always down for a cocktail and the opposite sex. We’re very similar in that regard.

So BOOM. We’re chatting up all the regulars that I know, all while collecting our complementary cocktails, when I see a new face. KD leans over and slurs “Girl look. It’s Floyd Mayweather.” We both laugh at how accurate she was. From the height, to the eyes, to the head shape. It was Money Mayweather himself. He sees us laughing, not knowing it was at his expense, and starts talking to us. The Mayweather lookalike was actually super cool and funny. See, I like these type of short dudes. Being okay with the cards that you’re dealt and pushing forward is attractive to me. I’m nowhere near the prettiest girl and I damn sure know I’m not at the weight I really want to be, but I’m acutely aware that there’s so much more to me than my outer shell. I love that for me local Mayweather!

KD ends up drifting off into the front area. She either left me to go smoke or sensed a love connection going on between me and Tyrann. I finally got some real information on him. He’s forty-three, a barber with his own shop, one daughter, and has never been married. I usually hate guys who have kids but won’t commit, but in Tyrann’s defense, he told me he did propose, but his baby mom wasn’t ready. I looked into those coke bottle glasses of his. Those beady eyes seemed genuine, so I accepted his answer and his phone number. We made plans to talk later and he also proceeded to the front room to have his cigar. I started chatting up the bartender since we were both alone at this time. After a few minutes of small talk, KD returned back to her seat. Her demeanor was off…she was irritated by something. “I don’t like Money Mayweather.” That was all she gave me. I grilled her for more info, but KD completed tuned me out and ordered another drink from the bartender. What could he have done that fast? I didn’t think much else of it. KD was good for getting a little tipsy and over exaggerating some shit. I took her frustration as a sign that we needed to quit while we were ahead. As we were leaving, Tyrann kept offering us a ride. I really think that was a ploy to show off his matte black Challenger. Insert eye roll here. I hate when guys do that shit. Why would I give two fucks about a car you’re not giving to me? It’s very cringy in my opinion, but I just smiled and kept pushing KD towards her vehicle. I told Tyrann that I would let him know that we made it home safe.

Tyrann and I had a brief conversation once I arrived home. We made a date for the next day to go to a new Black Owned wine bar in town. I really wanted to see the inside of this new spot, so now I was extra excited. I couldn’t wait for the next evening. The new bar is less than a ten minute walk away from my place, so I just took an Uber. The parking is terrible over there, so it’s best I leave any open street parking to the non-locals. I was the first to arrive which is normal for me. The spot was pretty busy so no one even noticed me sneak in and hoard two seats at the bar for me and my date. I was finally noticed about two or three minutes after Tyrann arrived. This was also his first time at the wine bar. He walked in with his nose turned up. I thought the look of disgust was really a ploy to keep his glasses on his nose, but as soon as he sat down, he grimaced, “Why is it loud as hell in here? Wine bars aren’t supposed to be like this.” I was a little offended. Hearing this as another Black business owner who aspires to have a loud ass bar similar to this one, I was turned off that Tyrann would say such things about one of our own. We’re loud! And the music was on point in my opinion. I’ve been to a couple of those boring ass wineries nearby. This place is definitely more my speed. At this time, I was committed to being nicer to the opposite sex, so I bit my tongue and replied “I think it’s nice in here. I would love to have something like this some day!” Tyrann wasn’t impressed. “I wouldn’t advise it.” He gave the bar another once over, “but if you do decide on a loud ass bar, I’ll help you find a property.”

Not only was Tyranny a barber, but a commercial real estate agent, a public speaker at conventions, and an author. Now y'all know this peeked my interest. His manuscript idea was very clever and I even offered my help on a couple chapters. Tyrann’s smile shot across his face, revealing a missing tooth right after the fang. I couldn’t help myself. I immediately shut my mouth and started running my tongue over my top teeth. I was sitting to his right at the cigar lounge the other night. I had no idea about his left side. And go figure. He’s a Gemini. It took me forever to just get a birthday out of him. I assume this is because people judge Geminis so harshly. But the fact that it was like pulling teeth to get that little piece of information out of him, made me believe he must be everything that they say about his sign. I tried hard to steer the conversation to a lighter note, but Tyrann wanted to stay in the negative. The wine I selected for myself was terrible in his opinion. He let me know much of a snake his old business partner was. And then, how the wine bar seemed to be getting “ghetto-er” by the minute. I couldn’t take anymore so I suggested we leave. In return, Tyrann asked “Do you know of anther bar that might be a little quieter? Maybe like a hotel bar?” I knew the perfect place. Ronald took me to a nice ass hotel bar near the beach some years back. I could only hope that the change in scenery would change Tyrann’s mood.

We walk into the partially empty bar and Tyrann immediately throws his arms in the air. “Why would you bring me to this White ass bar?” he whispered in my ear. I then threw my arms up. There’s absolutely no pleasing this man. “Listen. Let’s just sit down and talk. That’s what you really wanted to do, right?” No response. I followed Tyrann right over to the bartender. I welcomed the hard liquor this time. Dirty Martini me please! We went a little more in depth about his book where I soon found out there were no chapters at all jotted down anywhere. Actually, he was happy to have met me because he assumed we’d become good enough friends that I would write the entire manuscript and also be okay with slapping his name along with mine on the cover. Absolutely not. If I'm the one putting in all the work, you’ll be lucky to get a shout out on the acknowledgment page! I sipped my gin then replied, “I’m not interested in writing your book for you. All I’m willing to do is offer my insight on the subject for a few of your chapters. Like I said before.” Tyrann changed the subject to the hotel we were currently in. I informed him that it’s an affiliate of the Marriott and that I’ve only stayed at the location in Madrid. All of a sudden, he’s interested in staying in the area, so he doesn’t have to drive home. “I just want to see what the rate is for tonight.” I fidgeted in my seat. I wanted my words to be lady-like, but clear. “As long as you’re checking for yourself. I actually need to go home. I have work in the morning.” I really wasn’t that concerned with work. My main concern was that he understood that I wasn't staying the night with him.

I secretly watched as he flirted with the young lady at the front desk. I prayed that the room would be too expensive and that he would tuck his tail and sit back down. But then it happened. He reached in his pocket for his wallet. I, in turn, reached in my purse for my phone. I figured since I was so close to the airport that an Uber ride would be minutes away. I could barely get the app to find my location before Tyrann flopped back down in the loveset! Sometimes T-Mobile will leave that ass stranded! All of a sudden, Tyrann is gripping my thigh. His voice deepens, “Ol girl gave me a good deal for tonight. We should go see what the room looks like…” Lord please send me a driver! Being ladylike was no longer in me. My Napolean Complex kicked in full swing. “Nahhh nigga. I don’t need to see the room. You have a good night though. I’m ‘bout to go.” I slapped his thigh twice, hard, and abruptly stood up to leave. I checked my phone. My ride was eight minutes away. Please hurry up is all I could say into the air. I placed my phone and my cold hands into my jacket pockets and waited. I was so glad Tyrann took my advice and had a good night upstairs without me. I just couldn't believe he tried to play me like that! Then I heard heavy footsteps. The hairs on my sideburns stood up. “Hell NO. Who the fuck you think you are talking to me like that?” Tyrann’s index finger was only a few inches away from my face. I’d been warned about my mouth years ago by this nigga who was fresh out of jail. I vividly remember James’ black ass lips telling me to ‘watch who I’m talking to like that.’ The nervousness from that very day was back to haunt me in my present. But now, I have a little more finesse with talking to men who aren’t doing what I need them to do. I quickly check my phone before I respond to Tyrann. I think I read four minutes away. I pulled both hands out of my pockets to show Tyrann my palms, hoping he would see that I meant no harm. “It’s not like that baby. I told you I need to go home. That’s exactly what I’m about to do!” I laid it on even thicker with the puppy dog eyes. “Well whatever then. I’ll take you home!” Tyrann was staring me right in the face. I bit my tongue. “Nahhh sweetheart, it’s okay. The Uber is already on the way. I don’t want to get charged for that cancellation fee.” I smile at him. All the while, I’m thinking everything was working in my favor. “Ohhh so now you too good to ride with me? See. You LA females is all the fuckin’ same…” Tyrann was going off on me in front of all these Caucasian visitors. The only time I've ever been this embarrassed was when I fell of the pole at Silver Reign. A red van pulls up slowly. It’s my getaway car. The door retracts and I jump right in while Tyrann is still yelling at me. I smile at my driver. The door is slowly closing when Tyrann puts his leg in the way of the door shutting. I throw my hands up “Tyrone please! Just let me go home!” Tyrann’s head cocks to the left side, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME? My name is Ty-Rannnnnn!” He proceeds to spell his entire name out in front of me, the Uber driver, and all the onlookers. His foot still in the door. I thought the nigga’s name was Tyrone the entire time! Opps…my Uber driver finally speaks up, “Excuse me. You need to leave.” He’s staring me dead in my face. Of course, Tyrann thinks the driver is talking to him. Now he’s going off on the driver. “Aye FUCK YOU! I can talk to her!” I had to tune Tyrann out and get back in the good graces of my driver. “I’m begging you William. Please just drive off!” William shook his head no. I licked my lips, “William? I’m sorry. I’m not getting out of your car! Please. Drive. Off!” William softly replied with, “Okay.” William took his got off the brake and Tyrann finally took his foot out of the car door. The only problem was…we had to make a U-turn to get back to the main road. Tyrann stood in the way of the van. My God. It’s no escaping this nigga! But William had the right moves. He swerved around Tyrann, but slow enough to get one last insult off. “Fake bitch! Living wit ya momma, BITCH!” I wanted to JUMP OUT! How is this toothless, blind ass a bat ass petite ass nigga mad with me because my mom has multiple properties? But what good would that do? Two sassy little hoes tusslin’ in the parking lot? And you know somebody was gonna call the police. Better safe inside Williams van than sorry. William didn't talk to me for half of the ride home. I don’t blame him. As traumatic as that was for me, it was pretty much equal for him. “Julia. Are you okay?” William watched me through his rear view mirror. I could barely pick my head up, “Yes William. I’m fine thanks to you.” For the remainder of the ride, he got on my ass about choosing men wisely, blocking Tyrann’s number, and taking better care of myself. He even made me check my purse and pockets for any tracking devices Tyrann might have planted on me. I felt cared for by William. I had to leave him a good ass tip.

I never went back to that cigar lounge. KD went back though, and Tyrann was there! She changes her hair so much that he didn’t even recognize her. I know the manager at the cigar lounge personally. I think I’ll give him call before I step foot back inside of there. I originally said that I hated that Tyrann didn’t make it to the book, now that I think about it, he might’ve been a little too extreme to go in my first novel. And I’ll be damned if I make a special cocktail for him. But I am proud to say…drum roll please…my eBook is now AVAILABLE for your viewing pleasure!! If you want to be one of the firsts to purchase my paperback, send me a congratulations to my email, and I’ll gladly send you the link. Even if you want to discuss this Ultimate Hell Date, hit me up at jualeeah@jualeeworld.com or jualeeworld@yahoo.com. I seriously can’t wait to hear from you!