I Broke The Girl Code

Now hear me out. I have never and will never be a Porsha. Number One: I’m not that low down. And Number Two: I only have a few girlfriends and I respect the shit out of them. But…I did keep in contact with one of my homegirl’s exes. Crazy enough, Antonio is one of my best friends in the world to this day. And no, I don’t mean “best male friend” either. Tony is a member of my top three. His ex, my homegirl Crystal, has since downgraded to just an acquaintance.

Here’s how it all started. Crystal and I had been friends for about two and a half years before Tony came into the picture. Now you may be wondering what type of ‘friends’ we actually were. We went to amusement parks together, shared a meal at least once a week, my boyfriend would call her for advice on me, and we even tag teamed in fights together. Well if I’m being honest, Crystal never needed my help. She preferred to fight grown ass men, so some random chic in her same weight class couldn’t hold a candle to her. I would simply be on the look out for the security guards and the police officers. Ohhh the memories! We used to have a blast together.

Now here comes Tony. A rich nigga from out of state who’d just recently had a big break up with his then girlfriend. Crystal really didn’t want Tony exclusively. She was just looking for a man to handle the bills around her two bedroom apartment. The problem was Tony caught on to Crystal’s schemes rather quickly. I believe they only lasted a measly three or four months. Crystal couldn’t afford to let Tony ghost her so soon since she’d already started factoring in the money that he was giving her as her own. Needless to say, there was a big blow up at the strip club that started the demise of multiple friendships. We can’t get into the showdown at the strip club right now. I damn near have an entire chapter in Caution: Dating in LA may Cause Excessive Drinking. You can catch up on the tea there.

Antonio confided in me about his thoughts on Crystal’s true intentions. I was only available to listen. Why would I give up any information on my good homegirl? He definitely grew frustrated with me, but at the time, I could care less rather he came or went. Respect my boundaries and my loyalty to Crystal who was my friend first. Funny thing happened though. After about a month, our conversations shifted. We stopped discussing Crystal completely and we started talking about our future business and travel plans. Tony got me better than any man that I knew. I’m so grateful that he transitioned from a nag to someone who brought so much laughter into my life. The man is truly foolish and hilarious!

I was nervous to tell Crystal that I’d remained cool with Antonio. At this point I had even met two of his closest LA friends. I started the difficult conversation by totally placing the full blame on Crystal. “Bitch none of us would be in this mess if you hadn’t of showed out at the club!” Crystal rolled her eyes and waved me off. “You act like I give a fuck. Tony is lame to me.” Her facial expression told me differently. I don’t think Crystal ever looked at me the same again after that talk.

We stuck to our same friendly routine at first. Still clubbing every Thursday. Still chasing down the newest restaurants. Still on the hunt to find new men to scam. I’m not proud of this now, but at the time, I saw no harm. And trust, I’m still paying for being disrespectful and reckless as we speak.

Eventually, Crystal found a new “Antonio” and decided not to let this one get away. This new dude, Flint, required more of Crystal’s time in order for her to gain financially the way that she wanted. We no longer went out to our weekly dinners and the clubs she now wanted to attend were where Flint would be hosting. The plus side was the free entry. The downside was hanging with this nigga that totally gave off Ike Turner vibes. It’s crazy because Crystal and I would talk about our friend Janae’ for being a sucker for love and she surprisingly turned into just that. And Flint was way worse than anything Janae’ ever ditched us for.

A few months passed and everything came to a head. Janae’ started coming back around and Crystal arranged for us to have a girls’ night out in Palos Verdes. I pulled out my good clothes and jewelry because PV is a nice ass neighborhood. This event could line me up to meet the sugar daddy of my dreams. My dumb ass didn’t even ask if this would be a Flint Entertainment function. I figured he couldn’t afford to throw a party in Palos Verdes.

I pulled those PV doors open just knowing every wealthy white man in the city was waiting on me. My reality was Flint and his sorry ass friends rented a space and turned it into a topless strip club. No rich men at all. The same ol’ niggas I’d been rolling my eyes at in LA. A few newcomers showed up, but they fell right in line with the rest. Rude, flashy, and lacking in the conversation department.

Since my original plan fell through, my new intent was to catch up with Crystal and Janae’. Crystal had other plans of her own. She spent her evening chasing Flint around until his attention led him elsewhere. It was pretty pathetic to watch if you ask me. Once Crystal finally settled down with us, she beat me and Janae’ over the head with how pissed off she was at Flint for ignoring her. I can’t speak for Janae’, but Crystal was ruining my buzz. I was sick of the comparisons between her and the woman Flint was concentrating on. The lady that had his attention stood around 5’7 in stature and dressed more like she was attending The Grammy’s instead of a makeshift club near the beach. Homegirl came to play! I was commending her, Crystal could hardly contain her anger. Normally, Crystal would’ve made a scene. Keep in mind I told you she loves to fight. Instead, Crystal bitched at me and Janae’ for the rest of the night. This wasn’t like her at all. So many things had changed after the Antonio fiasco. But not all things change for the better.

I never told Tony about Crystal’s spiral out of control, but maybe I should have told somebody. She eventually cut everybody off for Flint. Claiming that nobody could truly understand their love. We all understood it alright. Crystal was out of work and being physically and financially abused by Flint. I honestly think she started prostituting for Flint but I didn’t have the nerve to ask and it never slipped out of her mouth. Word around the club was Crystal beat the hell out of two of Flint’s cars and Flint in turn beat the shit out of Crystal! The fight was so bad that she actually fled the state. This incident was the only reason we are now on speaking terms. Very slim speaking terms at that. We’ve whittled down to holiday and birthday texts. It’s sad knowing where we started from, but I would be lying if I said that Crystal was a better friend than Antonio. If she asked me to choose after our very uncomfortable talk, I honestly believe I would’ve picked him even back then. And not on any financial gain of my own. Tony and I have never loaned or given each other money. But yes, he does pay for damn near all of our outings if I’m going to keep it 100. This circumstance is very unlike me because I’m very capable of detaching and again, Crystal was in my life first. I know she didn’t back then, but I do hope she forgave me later on in life. But I can’t help but wonder where we’d all be if I cut off all contact with Antonio once he no longer served me on Crystal’s behalf. Am I the only one with a story like this or are some of y’all friend snatchers as well? Let me know at Jualeeah@jualeeworld.com or JualeeWorld@yahoo.com Don’t leave me hangin’ out here by myself!