Bae-Cation Blunders

It’s time to plan a trip once we start feeling each other. To me, the order feels right. Going on trips with the people that are important to me have become a sort of rite of passage. I’ve become so much closer with my family members and friends after we’ve hopped on a plane together. I’ve unfortunately lost some friends after traveling as well. Oh well, blame it on the Mediterranean Sea. But this particular trip was different. I would finally be going on one of those Instagram worthy vacations that would be on my friends lips all summer. I could hardly contain myself when the tickets were exported to my email. I was going to the Bahamas with my man!

We purchased the tickets months before, but that was all a blur. I feel like I blinked and all of a sudden, the trip was in a matter of hours. I was panicked like never before. Did I pack everything? Do I have enough room in my iPhone for all these new pictures? Is my airport outfit a good mix of sexy and cozy? The way my head was spinning, I could’ve propelled all the way to the Caribbean on my own. Why was I freaking the fuck out? I’d been on vacation with boyfriends before. The difference was I’d never felt this deeply about any man. I was also well aware that trips can make or break a relationship. A lot was riding on this. I really wanted this one to last.

We raced through the airport like we were auditioning to be in the Black rendition of “Home Alone 2”. You remember the scene. The whole family is running to catch a flight to New York. Bad ass Kevin couldn’t keep up and fell behind. Now that I think about it, I should’ve taken notes from him. I was running for dear life with untied Converse and fell flat on my face. I just knew I broke a tooth. I’m heavy on following signs, so this should’ve been my first clue that trip was about to bruise my ego and my strong knees.

We booked an overnight flight, so if anybody recognized my stumble in Terminal D, they could no longer see me because it was lights out on the plane. I could get over my embarrassment in peace! I fell asleep knowing that my friends would get a good kick out of my story once I got back to Inglewood. I woke up just in time to fly over the most beautiful parts of the Atlantic Ocean. The excitement had all the way set in. My bae-cation was turning into perfection.

Our taxi driver was cool as fuck. We even hired him to give us an island tour the next day. He gave us a DEEP discount, which is rare for the Caribbean, in my opinion. I made sure to give him a shameless plug on weworktotravel.com. Our hotel was right across the street from the nightlife. SCORE! The cost of traveling back and forth to the Fish Fry three years prior had weighed on my pockets. Damn near forty dollars a day SAVED! We celebrated our financial win by having a conch fritter picnic on the beach. Mother nature said “I think TF not”. A flash flood ensued which sent us yet again running to our destination. I’m scared this time, since these same shoes quit on me less than ten hours prior. So here I am prancing on my tippy toes trying to gracefully dodge puddles. The rain stopped right when my calves began to burn like hell. All we could do was laugh at our soaked attire and our soggy peas and rice. I’d talked shit about my food being a little dry, but I wasn’t expecting the Karma to settle on me that quickly.

It hit me right then. While my face was dripping with water and my clothes plastered to my skin. This man is supposed to be by my side through thick and thin. He’s my person! My tough exterior was dripping away just like the rain water in my tribal braids. But how do I go about bringing this up? What if he’s not feeling me like that? No wait. He had to be feeling me on that level. He packed a Polo and slacks for the trip. Trust me, he doesn’t dress like that. This man lives in his gym clothes! I messed around and let my thoughts hold me hostage all night. Thank God I had a drink ticket sitting right on the tv stand. ‘Bartender? Can you please fix me something that’s gonna have me stumbling back to the room? Make it a double while you’re at it’. The sky juice sent me over the edge. Careful what you ask for.

I blame that throat burning cocktail for making me spaz out the way I did. I let all trip etiquette fly out the window and started an argument on this man’s first venture with his passport. I didn't care. Why should he be all blissfully ignorant to my feelings? We’d been dating for a year and three months at this point. I wanted to know where we stood. Fuck his trip. I bit my tongue as we walked Junkanoo Beach, hand and hand. Disguised my inquisition as we posed sexily in the ocean water. Shut my mouth as we searched for angel fish and constructed video after video of us frolicking in Cabbage Beach. I couldn’t take it any longer. I was determined to end our last night with a bang.

So I flat out asked ‘Where the fuck is this going?'. I was met with a gang of “I don’t know’s” and even more shoulder shrugs. Talk about crushing a girl’s spirits. I was on vacation to see if we could make it through the work week all on our own, and homeboy was simply on vacation for rest and relaxation. I couldn't allow it. Be glad I held out until the last day. It became apparent that I’d attached myself to a man who had no major thoughts concerning me. I picked the wrong emotion to pivot on. I grew cold and my sharp tongue was dying to be unleashed. I didn't go as hard as I wanted. Neither one of us was going to add an extra room charge to our bill. Though the words I did set free forced him to seek refuge in the office chair in the far corner. I felt bad, but I wasn’t gonna be the punk to break down first. Ten minutes passed and the silence had worked me to death. I requested a truce, but I kept all the extra bass in my voice. He didn’t care how I said it, He desperately wanted to get back in the bed. He pulled the covers over his chest and proceeded to loudly tell me “you know I love you, why are you doin’ all this”. I broke out into tears. I turned into the punk that I didn’t want to be. He’d never told me he loved me before this date. I mean, yeah, I can feel the love at times, but he’d never let the words fall out of his mouth. Words of Affirmation tied with Acts of Service for my love language. He was well aware of this being that we took the quiz together.

I slept in his arms that night but we both woke up changed. I didn’t want to continue to fight him for what I needed to hear and he was very determined to remain the strong, silent type. Nahhh, not gonna work. We held it together on the plane ride home. Our chat even had me convinced that we could adjust for each other. It was all talk. Not long after, we ended things. I sage smudged my house and kept it pushing. Did I play a part in the demise? Well, yeah I guess so. But I wasn’t raised to hold back! And why let things drag on any further? I needed to know and I received my answer.