The Curse of The Group Travel

You’ve seen the pictures. It’s typically a party of five or more. Everybody’s smiling. A beautiful landscape as the picture’s background. You probably looked at the photo and smiled back at them. Maybe even given the flick a like on Instagram. Not me. Well, I definitely double tap for the like, but I’m not happy about it. I’m actually tight lipped and filled with jaundice. As hard as I’ve tried, I’ve never made it to the group travel level. And no, family trips don’t count.

My first attempt was some years back. The destination was the charming Dutch Caribbean. The Happy Island wasn’t on my bucket list, but I dreamed of the six of my girlfriends in all black bathing suits, large Mary J. Blige sunglasses, and even larger cocktails captured in a snapshot right alongside of those gorgeous flamingoes.

I couldn’t contain my excitement. My ticket was purchased and my brand new Canon G7 was ready to see some shit outside of Los Angeles County. Each night that passed was getting harder and harder for me to sleep. I was ready to board my flight and the month and a half of waiting felt more like torture. I didn't think any of the other travelers shared in my glee, so I barely checked in with them on their trip ideas and purchases. I didn't want to come off as the annoying one, but now that I’m thinking back, I wish I would have. That way, when the first girl dropped out, it wouldn’t have stung so bad. The trip was a month away when the first cancelation hit my text messages. “Damn ya’ll. The ticket went UP! I can’t afford that shit now!”. I played it off with the other girls like everything was cool, but truthfully, I talked shit in my head. ‘When is the procrastination spirit going to get up off these chicks?’. On the bright side, that still left us with four other members who wouldn’t dare let me down. Three weeks to take off was when the next let down showed up in my phone. “It’s crazy busy at the job right now. I’m not gonna be able to get free”. This message was coming from the girl who came up with the whole trip! This time I wasn’t so silent with my frustrations. ‘It was all good just a week ago’, I said to myself as I rolled my eyes. “Now bitches are so congested with work that they can for see busyness all the way into the next month? Must be nice”, I stated to some of the other girls. I can admit, I talked about my homegirl behind her back. Crazy part is I was laying up talking shit with the next drop out. Almost two and a half weeks later, I get a phone call. Yes, my phone RANG. That was already a bad sign. “Why don’t you see if you can get your money back? The trip is falling apart. I’m not goin’ no more”. I stared at my cell phone in search of the red button at the bottom of my screen. I had no words for her, so it was best I just hang up the phone. At that exact moment, I thought of the one friend that didn’t have much input on any of the trips festivities. Let me take a deep breath and check on her status. The three of us that were left knew each other the longest. Though our room fee had skyrocketed since we were only going to be able to split it three ways, the trip would be better off this way. No meet and greet, and no getting adjusted to all these new ass, different ass personalities. I pounded on the keys as I constructed the text. I just couldn’t believe how everything was shaping up. Three hours had gone by before I received a response. “I thought I told you a long time ago…my friend that was buying my ticket fell into a coma! I can’t fuckin’ goooooo”, ending with about forty crying emojis. SHIT. DAMN. MUTHA FUCKA! A coma? I’m getting a headache just revisiting all this. A got damn coma. I put them all on restriction shortly after. No way was I going to let them harass me about the goings on of a trip that they should have been on. My last girlfriend wanted to flake as well once we discussed the new price, but I wouldn’t let her. We each needed that trip more than the others did.

And yes we had a fuckin’ blast. I begged, borrowed, and schemed for that high ass room fee, but it was well worth it. I’d do it all over again. We ate and drank for hella cheap, met some cool ass couples and bartenders, and won a little money at the casino. Ohhh and the best of all. We each have some of the greatest thirst trap pictures that I’ve seen to this day. Thank heaven for my Canon G7! I even put one of the more tasteful photos on my business card.

I got asked to go back to Flamingo Beach by two of the four ladies that left us hangin’. I’d rather swallow my plane ticket over a raw egg. I’m working on it, but I hold grudges. Secretly, I do want to go back, but it will never be with them. I wouldn’t give them the luxury of ever playing with my money again. Vegetative state or whatever the issue is. I’m really hoping the next time I head that way, a man will be escorting me. I got a small dose of the bae-cation bug and I’m not fully recovered. But I’m always down for a girls’ getaway. Anybody headed to the Caribbean this summer? Let me know at jualeeah@jualeeworld.com or JualeeWorld@yahoo.com

Please let me crash your trip! I swear I’m the best to make memories with. And don’t forget, I come equipped with the thirst trap camera!!